Concrete Mud

inability to process

I try

work

pray

but that concrete wall is back

I can only go so far

I need to get to my destination - 

quickly would be helpful - 

but i'm stuck in mud

each step i take

hurts to go forward

i have to work to lift my foot

i attempt to dig my way out

but my arms get stuck as well

i'm pulling

yanking for all i'm worth

but it's not releasing me

it has a hold on me

so strong

I'm trying to dig my way out

but the more i try

the harder it gets

the mud is turning hard

like concrete

i see my destination

where i should be

where i want to be

it's just out of my reach

unattainable

I kinda want to give up

lay down

let the gunk swallow me whole

but i can't

every time i try

my spirit says NO

Stay ALIVE

You can do it

so i continue to try

pulling

ripping

digging

doing anything i can

i have a hope that i will someday succeed

so i keep going

i'm exhausted

so tired of fighting

but i WILL NOT

absolutely NOT

give up

because that

that is so not me

even if i have to move without my limbs

get there by insane measures

i will do it

i will achieve my goal

sink into the water

wash the thick, concrete like mud from me

and rest

rest in my fathers arms

Oh how wonderful that would be

not to have to fight

but i'm not there yet

so I fight

wrestle with force

it's keeping me here

but i won't allow it to

it thinks its won

it has put that confusion in my mind

taken the strength from my body

but it cannot hurt my spirit

the heart that God gave me

that is MINE

and it will NOT be taken from me

so i keep going

fighting through the confusion,

through the weakness

i don't feel like i'm moving

but i wont stop

I won't

I WILL REACH MY GOAL

Somehow

Someway

I will succeed!