The rents

My life feels to have gone crazy

I mean it’s always been

But now

Wow

I don’t know where to go from here

They came in last week snarling

Ready

With their fangs out

Their swords drawn

Ready for a fight

They don’t like the truth

They have excuses against the truth

I was told I was speaking through a demonic spirit

I was accusatory

I had the same evil spirit as angel

Oh but we’re just speaking the truth

Getting up in your face

Spewing words at you

That is truth Kara

I was taken aback

I wasn’t prepared

For your lies

For your twisted truths

I’m sorry

I didn’t know that God told parents to stop pursuing children

Isn’t that completely against his heart

I’m sorry I feel such pain from you

I’m sorry I live out of that pain

I’m sorry I don’t feel one BIT of love from you

God’s truth is not supposed to cause anxiety

God’s truth is not supposed to cause fear

I’ve been scared of you

Protecting you

You’re too fragile for the truth

I tried to speak it

But you denied it

My feelings aren’t valid

Yours are

It’s MY fault I never came to you

Do you realize how backwards that is?

I didn’t think I felt this

I didn’t think it affected me this much

But suddenly I’m crying

Confused

What is truth

You spew at me

You don’t listen until I demand it

My words from God aren’t valid

Yours are

Why?

My feelings are wrong

Not yours

Why?

I’m a hateful child

Why?

Why are you the ONLY ones who feel that?

Why?

I can’t go on like this

I don’t know that I even want relationship with you

I feel like it’s too much

You’re only going to try and change me

You only want me to do what YOU feel for me

I have God in my life to

For once in your life

TRUST ME

I’m not an evil child

I want God more than anything in my life

If you truly knew me

You’d know that

I DO NOT have a demonic spirit

I’m not speaking to you out of hate

Pain

Probably

But hate

Or Satan

NO

Absolutely not

I have God in my life

Am I flawed?

Of course

Do I and have I messed up?

Absolutely

But do I want God’s will for me?

More than anything ever!

Choose to see that

More than you see me not coming to you

God didn’t set you up to be Gods in my life

He didn’t set you up to FORCE feelings of love

He set you up to be a guide

If I would feel like you cared in the slightest

I would have come to you

But if I don’t do what you say

I’m hateful

Sinning

I have a sin change that will ruin my children

My marriage

And me!

STOP RIGHT NOW

Either get to know me

And know my heart

Or get the HELL out of my life

I want God

I want what he has for me

And I WILL not stand for someone speaking lies to me!